Dis-Ease

  In today’s world, there is so much chaos, divide, anger and despair. The world is in a state of DIS-EASE. And we’re not quite at the peak of the fever. Though it is just about at the precipice. So much uncertainty surrounds humanity right now and so much anxiety, it’s hard to think that eventually things will return to normal. Whatever that means. One thing I do know for certain, G-d doesn’t allow anything to happen outside of “His” control. 

   The dis-ease that plagues us is a disease of the mind. It is a war on truth, reality and society. It has infected nearly every corner of the globe, but the truth is coming to light. The truth shall set us all free. The dis-information machine is old, rickety and rusting. And those who built it are doing everything they can to pretend it’s not collapsing in on itself. The dis-ease took many years, decades in fact, to fester, grow and nearly consume everything in its path. Yet, just at the moment you think it will consume completely, this dis-ease meets its greatest adversaries, truth and hope. 

  It’s that truth and hope in which the cure for this dis-ease lies. For the only way we can and will overcome it is to teach truth. That is to say, to teach to reach for truth always. To live truthfully, to live morally, to live consciously. To lift the world out of the darkness of this dis-ease, we must dedicate ourselves to be aware of just how we affect the world in which we live, allowing each one the freedom of possibility. The freedom to expand one’s own understanding of the very place they hold in this world and to take pride in said place. For it is not enough to merely exist anymore. No, the responsibility of the prosperity of humanity lies upon the shoulders of every single individual. To deny that is to deny growth, expansion, progress. 

  I don’t know about any of you, but I, for one, will fight until my dying breath for freedom, prosperity and growth. I will do my part to Make A Difference every day. I will do my part to reach out and teach any and every person I encounter at every moment presented to me, the morals instilled in me by my Creator. And I will do it in such a way that the dogmatic spectrums which surround my faith do not interfere. For I recognize that my faith is not for everyone in the sense that it is for me. My hope, is that eventually every person will have faith and trust in their Creator, so as to satisfy the desire and hunger for that prosperity and expansion. And to understand the beauty and intimacy of the relationship between man and G-d. 

   And to always remember

                                        Stand Up

                                           Stand Out

                                            Be the Light

This is the End, Beautiful Friend

  The end is near. Though I do not take pleasure in saying it, I’ve known this was coming for many years. I’ve fought this truth for so long, not wanting to believe what I saw, what I felt, what I knew. Our world as we knew it is gone, never to return. The amount of civil unrest, discord and visceral anger and hate has come to rear its ugly head. Riots in many major cities, not just here in the US, but all over the world. Did this happened because of the shut down? Yes and no. Could it have been avoided? No. Humanity is on the brink of great change. And great change does not come silently nor peacefully, for that matter. The Great Awakening is upon the world and nothing can stop it. And nothing should stop it. 

  We are uncovering some very disturbing truths about those whom we’ve trusted to protect our interests, those whom we’ve elected to represent us, those whom we’ve regarded in high esteem. And these disturbing truths are far darker than many can accept. But just because they are difficult to accept doesn’t make them any less true.       

   Once you open your eyes, your heart and mind, you will no longer be able to deny these truths. Some will refuse to accept them, claiming they are “conspiracy theories”, some will stare in disbelief, and some will fight against them. But, in the End, denial is not a river in Egypt and only serves to distract from reality. I take no pleasure in knowing what I know. I do not celebrate these truths, quite the opposite. I acknowledge them, even though they make me sick. They are disgusting, repulsive truths of corruption and acts of pure evil. Once the light shines upon these truths, the world will be in shock. And nothing can prepare you for the heinous crimes committed by people we’ve trusted for years.     

  What I will say is this, G-d has been very busy calling all His Warriors and Wrestlers to Service. In Kabbalah, it is said there are always 36 souls on the earth that are “Righteous and truly Holy”, here to do G-d’s work. I believe, and I know I’m not alone, that in this time, there are actually closer to 36 million on this earth, here “souly” for the purpose of Saving Humanity. And that we have all been called to our unique duty, based on our talents and gifts to work in unison to pull us from the ashes and make our world a better place. The work will not be easy for any of us, but it is vital that we do this work. 

  My duty is to teach. The Manual of Moral Instruction , as my parsha, is no accident. As everything I do and experience is no accident, this duty was placed in my lap in the same manner, intentionally and very consciously. And I take this responsibility very seriously. Though I feel that I am not qualified to take on such a task, I must let go of my doubt and trust that I will rise to the task and do it with complete conscious intention and clear vision of the end result. 

Good vs. Evil- The Ultimate Battle

  Doing some research on hate crimes in the US last year. According to the FBI, out of just over 4000 incidents reported, 2017 were against Jews, a 12% increase from 2018. About 1/2 of the hate crimes committed last year were against .2% of the population. Let me say that again, about 1/2 of the hate crimes were committed against less than 1% of the population. In NYC alone, which accounts for more than 1/2 of the hate crimes committed in the US, more than half of those crimes were against Jews. Out of the 213 crimes, 69 resulted in arrests. Of those arrested, 40 were white, 25 were black, 2 were Hispanic and 2 were Asian. 

   We, in the Jewish community, know all too well what discrimination and hate look like. We’ve been battling it for over 3000 yrs. and we’ve learned a thing or two when it comes to combating discrimination and hate. So why did BLM destroy Jewish communities in NYC, Los Angeles, Minneapolis and other cities across the nation? And then there’s Antifa. Arian Brotherhood shit. You think we Jews don’t know?

  I had a conversation last year with a fellow Jew asking about what we do when we leave our safe quiet small community. How do we protect ourselves? She said something o never thought she’d say. “We hide our Jewishness. It’s how we’ve survived for over 3000 yrs.” And she is right. We never stop being Jews. We never apologize for it either. But, we do recognize when we’re in dangerous situations and adjust our behavior accordingly. It’s as simple as acting with respect, manners and morals. It is to not bring attention to ourselves, to not question authority in the moment, there’s always time for that later. It’s to blend in as best we can. We also teach our children to love, not hate. We teach that all of humanity is precious in the eyes of Hashem. 

  Does the black community do this? Do you teach your children to love, despite being hated? Do you teach your children that no matter what, we are all one with G-d and His Love is the ultimate love? Do you practice what you preach? Do you teach you children that despite your position in life you can always be better? That opportunity is in your mind. And that what you chose to focus your thoughts on is what becomes your reality?

   The reality is more that we have been fed a biased narrative and believe that crimes against blacks, especially by white is at an all time high, yet I haven’t found a single report to back that up. I do however find plenty of reports stating that anti Semitic crimes rose by 20-50%, depending on what region of the country your talking about. In NYC, it’s up 20%, with 53% of all hate crimes reported being Anti-Semitic, LA up by 100%, and Chicago’s up by 46%. Yet hate crimes against the black community either fell or rose by a much smaller percentage. 
  The point in all this is to highlight the very real and growing popularity of hate. How will we ever evolve past this? How will we move beyond finger pointing, name calling and unadulterated rage? Very simply, the answer is LOVE.  
  Love isn’t about romance, intimacy or sex.  Love is about seeing an individual for who they are, seeing their story, seeing their past, and accepting their flaws, for they are, like you, only human. And when you give LOVE, the greatest reward is watching that person flourish, knowing you had a small part in that success without feeling bitter or envious of it. Love is about giving and never expecting anything in return, for the act of selfless giving in and of itself, is the ultimate reward. Doing what is right, even when unpopular, is not always easy, but worth every ounce of energy you put into it. Love is about mindful, conscious living. It’s knowing just how you affect the world in which you live and doing what you can to make that affect positive and impactful. Love can be as simple as holding the door for someone, even when they don’t acknowledge you. It can be as complex as running into a burning building to save someone. Love, you see, is listening to your gut and following it’s direction. It’s hearing the messages you receive and honoring them. Love is morals, justice and courage. Love is faith and kindness. Love is selfless sacrifice and endless hours of caring for one who cannot care for themselves. 
   It is not enough to read this and internalize it’s message. It must be spoken, it must be shown, it must be honored. We are in a war for the survival and success of humanity. This is the ultimate Good vs. Evil, and I for one am on the side of Good. I will fight for it until my dying breath. I will continue to do what is right for no other sake than it being the right thing to do. I challenge everyone to do the same and together we will rebuild a world in which we can all be proud. 

DIS-CONNECTION

   Justice for George Floyd must happen, and it will happen. However, it does not happen through means of violent, adolescent behavior.  I am all for protesting, peacefully and respectfully. For when an entire people feel that disenfranchised, our First Amendment rights give us the ability and the duty to “peaceably assemble to express a redress of grievances”. That DOES NOT mean to behave so badly that the community in which you live is destroyed. What do people think they’re accomplishing by destroying the very places in which they work, live, and connect? What does it accomplish to destroy the jobs, safety and security of their own communities? Yes, I understand the frustration at a system that continues to ignore the core of the issues. Yes, I understand the feelings that nothing will ever change, and the despair felt each and every day. Though I will never experience the color barrier, I have experienced discrimination and will continue to, for I am a Jew. And no amount of argument will change what we have endured. But this isn’t about me, or the plight of the Jew. This is about the plight of the entire Black Community of the United States. I stand with YOU! But not at the expense of destroying your own communities. I felt the same way with the riots in LA after the Rodney King Trial verdict was read. So my question, now 28 years later, remains the same. Do you seek justice, or revenge? Are you CONNECTed to your REALity or do you fight against it? Recently, conversing about my personal struggles with my doctor, he reminded me to stop fighting the struggle. To be fully present with them and aware of the purpose they serve, for they are there to force upon me the growth I so badly need. So too, is the struggle of the Black Community in the US there to force growth. We live in a crucial time of growth and expansion for all of Humanity, and growth, unfortunately can be quite uncomfortable. It forces upon us a REALization, a truth, that the way we’ve been doing things is detrimental to our very existence. It forces us to examine just how we got here and what we have to do to change that REALity. And that is never comfortable. Yet, what I see in our world is NOT a desire to CONNECT, but a desperate plight to gain the ILLUSION of CONTROL. The REALity is quite the opposite, it’s just veiled in half truths and deceptions. And the more the fight for control continues, the more desperation and hopelessness prevail. See the truth is, what our very thoughts are, become our REALity. DisCONNECTed thoughts become disCONNECTed action, which begets destruction, loss, pain and suffering. I get the desperation, I get the feelings of hopelessness, I do. Believe me, I’ve seen my fair share of pain, and as an empath, I feel the pain all around me. But what I don’t get is the feeling that revenge serves any purpose toward change for the better. Nothing anyone says will ever convince me that riots bring about positive change. They are nothing more than a knee jerk reactions to a situation that needs careful consideration and planned, deliberate action. I watched a woman speak the other day in a video about the situation surrounding the death of George Floyd. She was sickened by the atrocity of the actions shown by the very people who are sworn to protect us, as am I. And she called for ALL people of this land to stand up and speak up, with one unifying voice. She called for ALL white people (I really dislike using the terms black and white, for it perpetuates the problem) to speak up and out against the systemic RACE relation problems in our society and I agree, wholeheartedly. We, as a NATION, must rise above and BE the CHANGE we want to SEE. And it starts with recognizing the disCONNECT. Recognizing that RE-ACTION is nothing more that thoughtless ACTION. RE-SPONSE, however, is CONSCIOUS CONNECTED ACTION. And RE-SPONSibility is the CONSCIOUS duty of CONNECTION. When we CONNECT with the world in which we live, it becomes IMPOSSIBLE to RE-ACT and NATURAL to RE-SPOND. It is not debatable, nor arguable. For CONNECTION is the key to balance. We are a naturally CONNECTED people who’ve allowed UNNATURAL influences to drive a wedge between us. The thoughts of SUPERIORITY and CONTROL plague our COLLECTIVE minds, even though at our core, we know that neither superiority nor control ACTUALLY serve any REAL purpose other than DIVISION. So the question becomes, what side is winning, SPIRIT or EGO? And what side are you on?

The Emergence of Sight

 

 I don’t even know where to begin with what’s going on in this world. I know what needs to be said, I know what needs to be seen, I know where we will all end up. What I don’t know is exactly how it will all happen and what it will look like. For, humanity surprises me at every turn, sometimes it’s  good, but mostly, I am left feeling sad and somewhat hopeless. Almost as though there is no hope for humanity and we are all doomed. Trapped on a planet we cannot escape, facing total destruction and extinction. Almost. But not quite. You see, there is a wonderful gift bestowed upon me, that for years, I fought against because it wasn’t understood by anyone around me and I couldn’t really articulate what I saw and felt and instead of expressing it, I suppressed it. Within the last decade, I have become more aware of it again and quietly come to know and understand it’s power and truth. This gift isn’t one I chose, nor is it one I will ever brag about. It was given in the humblest of ways and I am honored to be able to use this gift to help heal our world. I am an empath, a seer, and a messenger.  There are many aspects I still cannot explain, but no longer do I try. I don’t try to control the visions anymore, nor do I feel the need to seek them out on some kind of vision quest. I just merely have a conversation with אל רחום(G-d of Compassion) and what needs to be revealed is revealed.
 
    With that being said, I must move onto what has been coming through for the last several months. In September of 2019, the most powerful vision/connection I ever recall to date, came through during a cleaning job. On that day, September 18th, as I was wiping down the bathroom, listening to Mozart (I use classical music to connect with the upper realms), I heard a very strong voice say to me, “Look! Look now!” Instantly, I understood. As a child, I used to stare in the mirror to try to see past my physical body to the essence of my soul. I would struggle to focus beyond this realm, but I would inevitably fail. For years, I would try.  I gave up sometime in my teens and never really went back to trying. But, this voice was telling me it was time to see. See beyond this body, this existence, to the true SELF of my soul. And in that instant, all was revealed to me. It was so powerful, so intense, I dropped to my knees, tears streaming down my face, my body feeling like it would explode from the intensity of what I was feeling. Complete knowing, understanding of every life I’ve lived, every joy, every sorrow, every moment of every life revealed all at once. My instant reaction was to meekly say, through tears, “No, that can’t be.” The voice came back, “Now do you see? Now do you understand? Who you were? Who you are? Do you see why it all had to be the way it was? You are who and where you are for a reason.” I laid on the floor in a crumpled mess trying to make sense of what I just experienced. The life that was revealed, the one I’ve never seen before, the one that drives me in this life, was one of great significance. I hesitate to identify it, for I am not prepared to deal with the backlash I will receive, just know it was important in history. For now, what is important is this gift I was given. This gift of sight, of knowing and of understanding.
   Since that revelation, many visions have come through; glimpses in time, flashes of the future. Some make perfect sense and seem to calm the feelings that are flooding me. Some are so fragmented they don’t cohere to anything in reality. Mostly what I experience physically is akin to how it feels when every emotion comes to the surface and overwhelms you to the point where you feel you’re going to explode. The intensity builds and builds as each image is placed in my consciousness and breathing becomes difficult. Tears naturally stream down my face and speech isn’t possible. These only last for a few minutes at most, but can leave me feeling spent for hours. But the wisdom that comes is so great, it is clear it is not for me to hold. It is intended to be shouted from the mountain tops. Written on every subway wall, billboard, etc... So this is where I begin.
   Most of my life, I’ve known there was a specific reason I decided to come down to the lower realm in this particular time. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but I knew I was here for a pretty big reason. It’s not an ego thing, for I hid from it for years. Hence the reason I’m just now putting my words out there at 47, though I’ve been writing all my life. And I’ve been writing about this pang in my gut for most of that time. With this post, I am dedicating my blog to publishing those writings from past years and continuing as the visions come through. It is no longer a choice, but something I am compelled to do. Inspired to change this world, one revelation at a time.
   Back to September.  Who I was so many years ago isn’t important right now. What I saw, however, is. Amongst us Jews, it is well known that we were chosen by G-d, but for what? Most of the world, especially Christianity, believes we were chosen to be the only ones allowed in “Heaven”. That couldn’t be further from the truth. We were chosen to be the teachers. To teach the laws and precepts of G-d. And we’ve been failing at it miserably for 5 millennia. At times, we make a small dent, but on the whole, it doesn’t seem to matter. Humanity is now on the edge of the precipice of real understanding, true enlightenment, yet fights against the reality of truth. A truth that will change the very fabric of human existence. It will change how we live, how we interact with one another, what we understand about why we’re here, and so on. And it is our DUTY as Jews to teach the world how to navigate this new REALity.
   This virus, Co-V2, is merely a catalyst for what’s to come. It will not be pretty, for in order to change our world, we must remodel it. And that’s gonna be a huge mess! Adaptation is going to be key in this reconstruction process. You can think what you want about conspiracy theories, world domination, whatever, I really don’t care. This isn’t about that. In fact, it’s so far beyond the limitations of this physical existence, that those ideas don’t even factor in. For they are nothing more than distractions. Things put in our way to deter us from the real path we are all on; to prevent this change. Yet, it is inevitable. We cannot stop it even if we try. The reality that we are destroying our planet, ourselves and our future is one that should not be debated. We are far too populated, far too unconscious and far too arrogant. This catalyst was sent here to change all of that. It begins a cycle of nature that no matter how arrogant we are to believe we can stop it, we cannot. In the coming years, we will see mass starvation, more disease, poverty and crime, as people become more desperate to survive. Hate, angst, disillusionment and fear will rear their ugly heads, but hope, consciousness, understanding and love will also rise amongst the masses. We will have a choice to embrace all that is good or all that is bad, individually and collectively. Communities will flourish while others wither away. The key will be who decides to rise to the challenge and who chooses to walk away. Those who refuse to adapt, unfortunately will perish. Those who chose to open their hearts to consciously walking this path will lead the way. As for the rest, they will either follow or be left behind. It is not a pretty scenario, but it is one that has become necessary for the survival of humanity and our precious planet upon which we live.
   In 2011, just before I decided my marriage was over, I did a spirit writing session. Little did I know at the time, how true those words would be now. What came through was this, “It isn’t what we wanted, but it became necessary in order for you to reach your full potential. What you have inside is not for you, but for the whole of the world.” Though I knew, somehow this would change everything about how I walk this path, I could not have known to what extent that change would become. Over the last 8+ years, I have been on a journey of discovery. Uncovering exactly who I am and why I’m here. I have made choices that allowed me the space to expand my understanding of every aspect of my SELF and my abilities. I have grown my skills in writing, drawing, speaking and study. These were not mistakes, nor coincidence. Whether I was aware or not, these choices give me the ability now to guide those who chose to follow. Through my writing, my art and my gift of oration, I will do all that I can to guide us into the next phase of Human existence, with the humble knowledge that these gifts are not mine to possess, but to share; to honor Hashem, Humanity and all life.
 
 

Dementia

Dementia, I am dealing with it now, as we speak. My father, the man who taught me just about everything, the man who would warn any boy who wanted to date me, the man who walked me down the aisle, the man who beamed with great pride when he met his grandson, the man who’s stood behind most everything I’ve done, is slipping away. There are days when I can handle it, there are days I cannot. I look at Dad sometimes and see this incredible man who’s lived a blessed life, not always easy, but blessed for sure. And sometimes all I can see is the disease. Each day presents new challenges, old challenges and moments of great appreciation and love. It’s chaos AND calm. It’s heartbreak and loss. It’s laughter and sarcasm. It’s everything. It’s life. I don’t want sympathy, for that feels like pity, which I simply don’t feel. I am honored to be here for him, even though we have moments where we both want to walk away. The anger, the sadness, the love, the joy of life is all there, wrapped up in one torturous disease. Soon, he won’t know who I am. Soon, he won’t remember his own life. Soon, he will need me for everything. But not today. And today, I will cherish and each day I have with him. When he’s gone, I know I’ll go through all the stages of grieving. I know I will postulate all the things I could’ve done differently. Could I have been more patient? Could I have been a bit less rigid? Could I have been a little more conscious? The answers matter not. One thing I will hold dear, no matter what, I did my best to honor him, to care for him and protect him, as he did for me. And that is what holds me up today. Gives me strength to face each challenge, each loss of control, each burst of anger or sadness or confusion. Knowing I’ve gone into this consciously, without hesitation, understanding that it will be the most difficult thing I will ever face in my life. I’m not asking for accolades, for they are irrelevant. I’m not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, nor do I expect it. I’m here, I love him and I hope that he knows he is always safe, loved and that he matters. Because in the end, it’s not about the things we acquire, it’s not about the money we made. It’s about the difference we make. It’s about the lessons we share, the wisdom we impart, the love we show. In the end, it’s about selfless acts of lovingkindness. 

REALity

As we settle into our “new” reality, albeit temporary, my thoughts about the future of Humanity are swimming around in my head. Will Humanity rise to the Grace of G-d? Will we be forever changed? Enlightened? Elevated? Or will Humanity continue this unconscious numb existence? These questions swirl about in my mind, begging for answers, though I have none. What I do know is that nothing will be the same again. Not a single human on the planet right now can escape the effects of this pandemic. Yet, I still see and hear people acting as if all will return to status quo soon. If there is one thing I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt is life SHOULD NOT go back to status quo. No! We have lived blind, numb, unconscious for far too long! It’s time we find a new “normal”. See this should be a HUGE WAKE UP CALL to all of humanity. It’s time to examine yourSELF. Time to take a long hard look at how you affect the world you live in. It means to live consciously, ALWAYS. Think about how your actions have the ability to make any situation, regardless, work out in not only a positive way, but also in a way that leaves an imprint of light on everyone involved. For when one sees just how they CAN influence another, a situation, a path, whatever, ALL of humanity benefits. Because it becomes “INFECTIOUS” and spreads to each and every other, just like THIS VIRUS. When we let go of EGO, what we are left with is TRUTH. Ego veils truth because truth forces humility. It makes one look at their own beliefs and question their validity. Ego perpetuates an illusion that one is always RIGHT, and therefore, RIGHTEOUS. It manipulates facts to fit a narrative, an ideology of superiority. But truth, on the other hand, frees thought. It frees the emotion. It allows for intellectual and spiritual curiosity. It beckons to be studied, embraced and known. For no one can oppress those who know TRUTH.
  Should we go back to “normal”? As my mother, of blessed memory, used to say, ”What is “normal”? Why, normal is just a setting on the washing machine. There’s nothing “normal” about life, except change. THAT IS NORMAL.” We can choose to embrace this change, to flow with it, to accept it and expand because of it. But to go back to the way things were? Personally, I don’t think that’s possible.